Take today, for instance. DH is on an almost 2 week long business trip. We're half way in, and doing just fine, but a weekend day with no plans makes us all feel his absence. So, I decided to take the kids on a day trip. We ventured to a children's museum that took me a little more than an hour to get to. It was wonderful, the kids were wonderful, and I was feeling like Super Mom. We left the museum for a late lunch, and I quickly realized that McDonald's was the only recognizable restaurant in the middle of Amish Country. As we ate, I was thinking to myself that this is the dirtiest McD's I've ever seen. The soda/condiment bar was sticky, drippy, and yucky. Little did I know, that was nothing.
Seeing as how it was 70 degrees out today, after we ate, the kids went to play on the outdoor playset. Up they scampered to the top, and DS was first out of the twisty slide. He came running over to me to ask what was on his shoe. One look and I knew. But, oh, how I prayed it was chocolate. So I sniffed it to be sure. Nope, certified diarrhea. On the top and toe part of my son's meshy fabric Nikes. Needless to say, I freaked.
I ran inside and told one of the cashiers that apparently there was diarrhea inside of the playset and my son's shoe was covered in it. Then (and this is the good part) she turned to a fellow cashier and told her, "Hey, that kid that had the accident in the playset before....well now it's on this kid's shoe." YOU KNEW IT WAS THERE??? Now I was not only freaked out, but furious to boot. I asked if they had something I could use to clean off DS's shoe. They gave me damp napkins. DAMP NAPKINS!! For germ infested diarrhea from a stranger!! Get me the manager.
So, I complained. My mom would have you believe I am a chronic complainer...but seriously....wouldn't you? The manager had the nerve to tell me that there wasn't anything he could do for me, he can't be held responsible for negligent parents who don't inform him of their children having an accident inside of the playset, and....he really couldn't be sure that DS would need new sneakers anyway. Are you kidding me? It's mesh....and coated in poo!! And your cashiers obviously knew about the offending child, so don't tell me you didn't know!! And could I please have something stronger than a damp napkin??? My blood was boiling!
On my way out of there, one of the cashiers asked me if there was anything else she could do for me. I think I snorted out loud at that point, but I asked her where the outlets were (one of my friends had told me I'd be near them)....and apparently she wasn't clear on what outlets were. And no, she wasn't Amish. I told her I clearly needed to buy new sneakers. She couldn't think of one athletic shoe type place to direct me to. The best she came up with was the supermarket....she thought they sold Crocs there. Why would I spend $30 on Crocs when DS was going to need new sneakers?
So I got in my car, and started to drive. It took me a half an hour of dairy farms to come across a shopping center with a sporting goods store.....and much gagging in the car as it started to stink of diarrhea. (The only reason I didn't toss them at McD's was because I thought he'd need some type of shoe to walk into a store to buy new ones.) I did eventually get him new sneakers, and we threw the dirty ones out at the store, but seriously....trouble found me again! Just my luck.